


Tell me what you want

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Affairs, Character Death, Ficlet, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 03:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14803877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “I’ve given you all, Ryo. And what did I get in return?”





	Tell me what you want

_“I’ve given you all, Ryo. And what did I get in return?”_

Yamada wanted to cry.

He had been thinking about those words for days.

He had been thinking about Yuto’s disappointed look while he talked to him, and he had realized with a certain guilt that he kept looking at the clock, afraid that Daiki might come back at any moment.

The younger had noticed, and just as he had come he had left the apartment, without telling him another word.

Now Ryosuke told himself he should’ve stopped him, that he should’ve done something more to allow him to leave without that feeling of anger toward him.

And yet he had stayed there and watched, useless, just because he hadn't had the courage to take a risk.

He had tried calling him.

That night and the next one, because when they met at work he knew well how to avoid him, and Ryo hoped he would've allowed him the grace of picking up.

He understood, he did.

For months they had been meeting in secrecy, at moments and in places unthinkable, for months they declared a love that couldn’t come to surface, and for months Ryosuke had been swearing he felt nothing for Daiki anymore.

And Yuto, with good reason, kept asking him to leave him then, to stay there with him, where his place was.

Yamada promised, and then he couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t look the person he had loved so much in the eyes and tell him that that love didn’t exist anymore.

And even less he could look Nakajima in the eyes, knowing how much he was disappointing him as time went by, and he kept crawling back into Daiki’s bed every night.

He received, received, received from Yuto everything the younger had to offer.

And in exchange he wasn’t capable of giving him anything more than crumbs of his time, when all he wanted to do was to spend the rest of his life with him.

He got out, without taking a jacket.

Cold, he had decided, would've done him some good.

He walked, headed toward Yuto’s place, even though it was pretty far from the apartment he shared with Daiki.

That didn’t matter either; walking at that time of night, when there were less chances of being spotted, was pleasant.

He walked and thought about every single moment he had spent with Yuto, about how happy he was every time he was with him, how bad it felt every time he had to leave.

It had been the right thing to do, he was sure of it.

Say goodbye to Daiki hadn't been easy, but it was right.

Now he just wanted to be wrapped in Yuto’s arms and let him soothe him, and basking in the warmth of his hold, sure that things were going to be better now.

When he finally arrived in front of his building, he pushed the intercom button and forced himself to hear the doubtful voice of the other letting him in.

When he got to the door Ryo felt a sharp pain in his chest at how beautiful he looked, at the peace he felt at the mere thought that they were finally going to be together, that they didn’t have to hide anymore.

And he was so taken by that thought that he barely noticed the younger’s horrified look.

“Ryo, what... what happened?” he asked, his voice feeble.

Yamada smiled to him, getting closer.

“It’s over, Yu. Daiki... it’s over.” he replied, making as to hug him, feeling confused when he saw him pull away.

“Why are you covered in blood?” the younger whispered, trying to keep his breathing even.

Ryosuke opened his eyes wide.

Why wasn’t he happy?

Why didn’t he understand that they finally had a chance at being together?

He had complained so much about the fact that he just took, and now he had fixed that.

He had given him Daiki’s life, and they were finally free now.

That’s what Yuto wanted.

Wasn’t it?

 


End file.
